As a result of the global impact of a “pandemic”, we have been given a fine opportunity to slow down, connect with ourselves and explore our body’s capacity for relaxation and pleasure. Simultaneously we are being forced to redefine our needs, values and priorities on a deep level. It is time to dive into feeding our hungers, to follow that which makes our hearts sing. I use the term hungers as this speaks of feeding ourselves, our own fire, and identifying what we need to fuel this fire so we have balanced energy and passion for life.
It is a time to renew our relationship agreements and put effort into authentic intimate communication with others.
It is a time to look at our personal priorities and our work priorities, in that order. When we are clear about what matters, we can make choices that are aligned with our priorities.
It is a time to sit quietly and introspect (that means without social media!), to dance to our favourite album loud with abandon… and a great time to renew our intimacy with our partner and/or with ourselves and be courageous to make changes.
Don’t forget to factor in your individual bliss into your new lifestyle design!
In an apocalyptic world of illegal house arrest, that has become the digital age of online dating, porn, Netflix and potential constant escapism, I want to talk about how important activating and exercising our imagination is ~ now more than ever. It is so important to invest our energy in pleasure-producing activities.
Imagination is what stimulates our creativity, it is an expansion of thought space/s that keeps our mind working and entertained in a healthy way.
When I think of imagination, I always think of roleplay.
Roleplay permits an exploration, a foray into new identities, it supports trying on different hats to play different roles… for pure fun or for the purpose of therapy and healing.
Who would you be, if you had the chance to pretend for an hour or two?
Who would your lover be?
What would they be wearing?
How would you first meet and how would you get excited by them?
Alternatively, you can create a scene where you know each other, but in a totally different context, perhaps with a different power dynamic between you. For example, the teacher and student, and the Mistress the slave,
This is the juicy stuff, the fun and exciting games we can play within the safety of our agreements are endless – finding new favourites as we begin to explore.
With my partner, we choose a scenario where we don’t know each other at all, and meet under a bridge, on the side of the highway at night. My lover dresses as a dirty truck driver, he hasn’t showered in 2 days, and sports a rough beard. He’s hungry for pussy and impatient to meet me.
It’s 8:33 pm, and I had been chasing this semi-trailer truck for 3 kms. I love overtaking the long lit-up trucks and imagining the driver can see my bare legs in my mini skirt as I pass…if they only looked down. I overtake them, then slow down and allow them to overtake me, I do this multiple times to build up the erotic tension, often I accelerate in the right lane to show them I have more speed and velocity uptake than they do.
I turn my indicator on to show I’m getting off at the next exit. He flashes his high beams at me ~ dazzling me with a circus arena of light. I got a bite! I slide my car into the darkness under the overpass and wait, with bated breath.
My pussy pulses, what will he look like? Will he be really ugly and unbearable? Will he be handsome and somewhat charming descending from his little cockpit? Will he smell really bad? Will my arousal be evident?
This is the set up we discuss together and then we play it out, to see what happens.
OMG. H O T.
It worked out better than we imagined. We had a laugh and we were able to get into the roles and stay there, meandering down pathways of individual interest but returning to the point; I wanted to be fucked in a truck by a stranger, overtaken by a man, after a swift, exciting and dangerous seduction.
The set up worked because we had spoken about the fantasy, the scene, the context, the potential outcomes, our boundaries and had paid attention to our costumes.
We expressed our creativity, and the whole exercise stimulated our imaginations around what else we hunger for!
So, how can we learn about new aspects of our partner, even though we may feel we know them well? By allowing ourselves to view them differently ~ through roleplay.